FREEDOM. . .

"The more fun you have, the more detached you can be from the circumstances of your life. You can cease to be obsessed by money, by how you look, by how you compare with other people, by your need for approval. You can still have fun in the midst of it all." ~ JR w/Paul Kaye

A friend and I were talking the other day about the irrelevancy of worrying about other people liking or loving you. I realized I used to do that a lot, and sometimes still fall into that pattern. When I am concerned about how I measure up to other people's standards, I find I am far less comfortable with myself, less confident, less centered, less free-- and ultimately I have far less fun.

Whether other people like me, love me or respect me is never in my hands. It is in their hands. I am lucky in that I was blessed with a personality that most people enjoy-- and I use that to do as much good as I can. But, paradoxically, when I care most about someone liking or loving me-- it seems to work less well. I think that is because I give up a part of myself to the other person when I try too hard to earn their good graces. I become less of “a person,” less of my Self, than I am usually.

Lately, I find I care less about what other people think of me than what I THINK OF ME. I also care less about being loved than being loving. I care less about being liked and enjoyed than I care about liking and enjoying myself and my own life. Because of that, I am happier. . . and feel more fulfilled. An extra bonus is that I have more FUN, laughter, Lightness and joy inside of me and that is available for me to share with other people.

I am also being more honest these days-- and I find somehow people like that a lot too. My honesty is often insightful. It is always REAL-- and people know where they stand with me all the time. My honest statements are often oddly funny, I think because what I say is so much a simple statement of "what is" that it makes people laugh. I also have more freedom when I am honest. I don't have to try to be someone I am not; trying takes a lot of effort. Being honest is easy, because I don't have to monitor what I say and/or do. I can just BE more of the time. Life is simpler and I have more energy for other things.

Another interesting thing to me is that lately I have been experiencing myself as one of the wealthiest people I know, even though materially I might not be defined that way by many people. By my definition, I am RICH; I love and enjoy myself and I am loved and surrounded by amazing people who adore me-- and who enjoy being with me and letting me be with and love them, however I do that. I do not struggle to meet other people’s standards of "perfection” or success, as I might have felt I should in the past. I just don’t think that is important. As I have gotten older, having survived some intense challenges by Life and Spirit, I have given up on being some ideal me that exists only as an image in my mind or in other people’s. I have moved more into alignment with WHO I AM, as I stand, which I am finding is a natural state of Perfection that we perceive only when allow ourselves to simply be who we are, with no artifice. It is a state filled with PURITY of a sort, if that makes sense-- and for me that state, that way of Being, is innocent, profoundly fun and funny, and happy beyond belief.

 Also, exploring what freedom is for me these days, I find that by focusing on having fun and enjoying my life, and by simply being who I am, I automatically attract those people capable of being that way with me. Everyone else, all those who can't do or be that, just drop away. At first, having that happen felt like “loss” to me, but of late I am realizing that by surrounding myself with people who are who they are and let me be me, I am creating and enjoying even more Freedom to be who I AM—and to have tons of FUN with that.

Just to play a bit, I decided to end this blog post with a kind of silly acronym:

F- Forget to TRY, simply BE and DO!

R- Really be REAL!

E- Enjoy your life as it is.

E- Enjoy being YOU!

D- Do your best; that’s all you can do.

O- Own your Truth . . . own what is SO for you.

M- Mean what you say, say what you mean.